Lady—Here's Your Wreath Read online

  He was right again.

  I finished up my Scotch and got to my feet. My own danger didn’t worry me, but if I were behind bars there was no one to find Mardi. I had to get this angle right first.

  “You better keep out of this, Mo,” I said. “I can’t drag you into it.”

  Ackie filled up his glass again. “Forget it.”

  “No… I mean that.”

  “I’m in with you from now on. We’re going to bust this thing wide open. We’re going to get Mardi back and we’re going to get Spencer on trial. We’re going to find out what’s at the bottom of the Mackenzie Fabrics, and when we’ve done all that we’re going to write the grandest news-story, and we’re going to get someone to print it.”

  I said: “Do you mean that?”

  “Yeah, I’m in on it, and you can’t keep me out.”

  I was glad to have Ackie with me. He was an all-right guy and a tough egg to have around when trouble starts.

  “We gotta get this dame outta here first. We gotta do that quick. That’ll spoil any frame-up they’re hoping to slap on you.”

  “How the hell are we going to do that?”

  Ackie scratched his head. “We’ll take her out in my car and drop her somewhere.”

  “It would be better to take her round to her own apartment and leave her there. In her profession she might’ve been knocked off by anyone.”

  Ackie nodded. “We’ll do that.”

  “We can’t take her out like that. We’ll have to get her dressed.”

  “Why the hell have they undressed her… anyway?”

  “Just a touch of realism, I suppose. Her clothes must be around somewhere, otherwise that would be a point for the defence.”

  I opened a cupboard and glanced inside. There was Blondie’s large black hat hanging up with Mardi’s hats. I took it out. I didn’t want to think about Mardi just then, but seeing those hats did things to me.

  We found Blondie’s clothes in a neat pile under the curtains on the window-seat.

  Ackie turned them over. “These dames don’t wear much, do they?” he said.

  I took the dress from him and examined it. The front of it was stiff with blood and I could see the hole in the cloth from the bullet.

  “They undressed her after she’d been shot. Now why the hell did they do that?”

  “Maybe they were going to take these clothes away and forgot about it.”

  I stripped off the sheet. “In a little while she’s goin’ to get stiff.”

  Ackie rubbed his nose. “I ain’t lookin’ forward to dressin’ this doll. Suppose we have a drink?”

  We had two.

  I got her stockings on. It wasn’t a nice job. I could feel her body getting very cold. “She’s dying on us fast,” I said.

  Ackie was wrestling with her shoes. “These dames just kill their dogs with small shoes,” he said.

  He got them on at last and we both sat back.

  “I guess we’ll skip the underwear,” I said, wiping my face with my sleeve.

  Ackie looked quite shocked. “She’s got to be decent. She just can’t go anyhow.”.

  I tossed the step-ins and slip in his lap. “You go ahead. This turns my guts.”

  Ackie threaded her feet through the step-ins. “If you’ll stand up, madam,” he said to Blondie, “it’ll help a lot.”

  I belted the whisky again. I was getting pretty high.

  “For Pete’s sake,” I said.

  Ackie turned round. “Listen, you bum, suppose you give me a hand and cut this sissy stuff out. I gotta get her pants on, haven’t I?”

  I came over and leant my arms on the bottom of the bed-rail. “I’ve done some lousy jobs in my time, but this wrecks me.”

  Ackie let go of Blondie and went over to have a drink. “You’re right, Bud,” he said after a long pull. “But you gotta look at it like this. It’s an act of decency.” Ackie was pretty high.

  “Come on then. Let’s get her dressed.”

  I got hold of Blondie and stood her up against the wall. I put one foot against the toes of her shoes to prevent her feet sliding and I held her under the arms. Her eyes kept meeting mine, and it gave me the heebies.

  Ackie fastened the step-ins round her waist. He was sweating, but stuck to it. We sat her on the bed and put the slip over her head, then we stood her up to adjust it and she slipped out of my hands. She went down on the floor with a crash.

  Ackie took off his hat and fanned himself with it. “You didn’t do that on purpose?” he asked, looking at me suspiciously.

  “I bent down and got Blondie on the bed again. I was feeling bad. “Come on… come on…” I said, “Get her dress on, for Pete’s sake.”

  We got her dress on. It was the worst job of the lot. Neither of us liked to handle the sticky front, and Blondie had a couple more falls before we were through.

  Ackie said seriously: “Do you mind if I cat in your bathroom?”

  I said: “Have a drink instead. You got too much liquor inside you to waste.”

  We had a couple more drinks, but they didn’t do much good. Ackie got her hat and put it on her head. He pulled it down hard, so that it hid the glassy look in her eyes. He stood looking down at her. “I guess she looks okay now,” he said, scratching his head.

  “I’ll be glad when we’ve got her out of here.”

  Ackie nodded. “I guess we’ll get goin’ right away. I bet you evens she stiffens on us before we get her there.”

  “I’ve had enough grief for one night. I ain’t taking bets with you.”

  “Well, let’s go.”

  We sat Blondie up and adjusted the short fox-fur cape over her shoulders that we had found with her clothes. It hid the bloodstains all right.

  Ackie said quickly: “You’ll have to carry her… she’s too heavy for me.”

  I put my arm round her waist and the other arm under her knees and lifted her off the bed. Make no mistake about it, that dame was heavy.

  Ackie said: “Don’t be standoffish, madam, put your arm round his neck.”

  I said: “If you don’t cut that line right out, I ain’t goin’.”

  Ackie robbed his hand over his face. “Jeeze, if I don’t make a joke of it. I’ll go nuts.”

  Well, go nuts, but cut that line out.”

  Going downstairs I nearly dropped her. Her arm banged against the wall and came up round my neck. I said: “For Pete’s sake, Mo, take her arm away.” My teeth began to rattle in my head.

  Ackie was coming down behind me. He had brought the bottle of Scotch, and every step down he took a quick drag at the bottle. He was getting cock-eyed as hell. I put Blondie down on a chair and took the bottle away from him. “Listen, you punk,” I said evenly, “you’re supposed to be helpin’ me. Will you get a grip on yourself an’ help?”

  “Sure,” he said, “sure… you don’t have to worry.”

  Blondie suddenly stretched out her legs and began to slide off the chair. We both stood staring at her, unable to move. Ackie said, in a quavering voice: “I don’t think I’m goin’ to stand a lot of this.”

  Blondie sat down on the floor with a little bump and then flopped on her side. Her hat came off and one of her shoes.

  Ackie sat on the stairs and hid his face. “I think I’ll commit suicide,” he said.

  When I straightened her out I found her muscles were hardening. “Quick, Mo,” I said, “she’s gettin’ stiff.”

  Ackie got up and gave me her hat. “Maybe she’ll be easier to handle that way,” he said hopefully.

  I crammed, the hat on her head again. “Get hold of her knees… we’ll never get her into the car.”

  We carried her out into the dark night. I could only hear Ackie’s heavy breathing and the sound of our feet crunching on the gravel. Overhead, the sky looked stormy. Big clouds raced across the face of the moon.

  The car was a big six-seater, but it took us all our time getting her in. We got her fixed at last in the corner of the seat. In the dim light of the ro
of-lamp she looked good. No one would have known that she was dead.

  Ackie said: “That’s a swell job.”

  “You stay here… I’ve got to get her shoe.”

  “If you think I’m staying out with her alone you’re barmy,” he said with great feeling. “We’ll do this together or not at all.”

  We turned out the light inside the car and went back inside the lodge.

  “Before we go we’d better clean up this mess,” I said.

  We did that. When we were through we had another drink and then turned out the lights and went out to the car.

  “We’ll toss who drives,” I said.

  I won.

  Ackie began to get in beside me. “You get in the back… that’s why we tossed,” I said. “You see she doesn’t fall over.”

  “And I called you a pal of mine,” Ackie said. He stood hesitating, then he finally made up his mind. He opened the door and got in. “Now be a good girl,” he said to Blondie.

  I engaged the gear and rolled the car down the drive.

  Ackie said after a while: “She’s sitting as quiet as quiet. I guess I could come on in the front.”

  “You stay right there.”

  “Listen, Bud, if I’ve gotta stay here I’ve got to have a drink. There’s a pint just by your hand… pass it over.”

  I groped around in the dashboard cupboard and found a bottle. I passed it over to him.

  “You ain’t got much gas,” I said, looking at the gauge. “That’s careless of you, Mo. I shall have to stop and get some.”

  Ackie didn’t say anything for a minute… I guessed he was giving himself a shot. Then he said: “That’s your funeral, Bud, me an’ the girl friend’ll leave all that to you.”

  I said: “For Pete’s sake keep as sober as you can.”

  “If you were right here, you’d try an’ get as tight as a tick… that’s what keeps me from goin’ crackers. How’d you like to be sitting next to a corpse? She’s looking at me all the time. I’m tellin’ you, this dame just can’t see enough of me. It’s givin’ me the heebies.”

  “Aw, shut up,” I said, and concentrated on the dark road. After a little while Ackie began to sing. I couldn’t stand that. I took my foot off the gas-pedal and stamped on the brake. I twisted round in the seat. “For suffering in silence,” I said, “will you lay off it?”

  “She likes it,” Ackie said. “You ask her an’ see.”

  I switched on the light inside the car. Ackie was crouched up on the far side away from Blondie, his face the colour of a fish’s belly and his eyes popping. I reached out a hand and took the bottle away from him. He’d been working on it. There was only just one small drink left, and I had it. I tossed the bottle off the road.

  “Take it easy,” I said; “for Pete’s sake take it easy.”

  “Sure… you just go on… we’re fine here. I tell you we’re fine.”

  I started the car rolling again. The gas was getting low and I couldn’t risk running out on a well-lit road. I’d have to take some on board at the nearest hick station.

  I didn’t have to go far before I sighted one. I slowed down.

  “I’ve got to pull in for some gas,” I said. “Keep quiet an’ don’t start anything.”

  “Start anything? Don’t make me laugh. Blondie an’ me are playin’ at graves.”

  I wished Ackie had kept away from the bottle. In this state he was likely to land us all in a jam. When I thought of Blondie sitting right behind me, I sweated some.

  I swung the big car into the narrow station and killed the engine. An old guy came out with a goatee beard. So that he didn’t get too close to the car I stepped out.

  “Give me ten,” I said briefly.

  As he was adjusting the dial a motor-cycle came banging up out of the darkness. When I saw the dim outline of the Stetson hat I stiffened. It was a State trooper.

  I said to the old guy, “Snap into it, Buddy, I’m rushed.”

  The State trooper dismounted and wandered into the light. I recognized him. He was a guy named Flanaghan. I’d known him in my cub days. Although I tried to duck into the shadows he recognised me.

  “Ain’t you Mason?” he said, peering at me.

  I gave him my hand. “Well, well,” I said, pump-handling him. “Ain’t it a small world?”

  I’m glad that guy couldn’t read my thoughts. He was a nice social fellow and he might have had a shock.

  “What are you doin’ around here?” he asked after we had got through with the back-slapping.

  “Been staying at Colonel Kennedy’s lodge,” T told him. “Just taking a run into town.’”

  He glanced over at the car. At that minute Ackie rolled the window down and stuck his head out. “Hey, Nick,” he bawled, “watch this dame.”

  Flanaghan took a step forward. “Well, if it ain’t that old son-of-a-gun from the Globe,” he said.

  Ackie gaped at him. “H’yah,” he said feebly. “Who thought you’d be around?”

  “Who’s the dame?” Flanaghan asked. He had always been a great guy for the dames.

  Ackie glanced at me. This had sobered him a little. “You don’t have to worry about her,” he said, keeping his voice down. “She’s cock-eyed.”

  “How do you mean, cock-eyed? You mean she’s stiff?”

  Ackie jerked his head at me. “Did you tell him?” he asked in a croaking voice.

  I said, “Mo means she’s a little tight.”

  There was an awkward silence, then Flanaghan said, “I hope you boys ain’t up to no dirty work.”

  Ackie withdrew into the car and sat down. Past his shoulder I could see Blondie’s big hat. I felt the sweat trickling down my back. “You know how it is,” I said. “She ain’t used to our drinking and she took a little too much. We’re taking her right home to sleep it off.”

  Ackie moved over to Blondie and put his arm round her. I guess that guy was still pretty high.

  Flanaghan stepped round me and peered into the car. Ackie took a quick look at him over his shoulder and moved closer to Blondie. He effectively screened Blondie from Flanaghan.

  He said in a loud voice, “Hey I Wake up, honey. There’s a cop askin’ after your health.”

  I took off my hat and wiped my forehead.

  Flanaghan pushed in closer.

  “You all right, baby?” Ackie bawled.

  Then out of the silence that followed a horrible soprano voice floated out of the car. “Sure I’m all right. Tell the officer to go take a pill.”

  With horrified fascination I saw Blondie nod her head twice and move her arm a little.

  Satisfied. Flanaghan stepped back. “I guess that dame’s as stiff as a board,” he said. “You’d better get her home.”

  I shoved some money into the hand of the old guy and slid under the wheel. “I’ll be seeing you some time,” I called, and I engaged the gears. The car shot away from the service station fast, leaving Flanaghan scratching his head, looking after us.

  Ackie said in a faint voice, “You wouldn’t call this dame a hot one now. I’m about frozen to death.”

  I said, “For the love of Mike keep quiet, you bum.”

  We drove the rest of the way in silence. When we reached Blondie’s apartment it started to rain. Big drops the size of nickels came splashing down on the street. That was the one break we had had on the journey. Rain as hard as this would keep the streets cleared.

  I swung open the car door and climbed out. “Wait until I get the door open,” I said.

  Ackie said, “Sure, leave me with the corpse every time.”

  I went over to the front door. In the faint light I could just make out the glitter of the plate. I thought she wasn’t going to need that any more. I only had a vague idea of how I was going to get in, but when I tried the handle the door opened. I stood hesitating, then I stepped inside. I ran up the stairs quickly to Blondie’s room. There was no one in the bedroom and the room was in darkness.

  Down I went again and called to Ackie. “I
t’s okay. We’ll get her out.”

  Handling Blondie this time wasn’t so bad. It was just like you had got hold of a wax dummy. When I got my arm round her, she was as hard as wood. I eased her out. She had stiffened in a sitting position, her hands folded in her lap.

  Ackie said, “You get one side, I’ll handle the other.”

  We got her under the arms and ran across the pavement with her. I had to take her up the stairs, there wasn’t room for the three of us. I can tell you when I reached her bedroom I was mighty glad.

  Ackie said behind me, “Put her in a chair. She’ll sit more natural that way.”

  Then the bathroom door opened quickly and Katz slid into the room. He took just one look at me and went for his gun.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  IF A GUY PULLS a rod on you in a small room and starts popping at you, there is only one thing to do, apart from saying your prayers. You’ve got to start throwing anything you can lay hands on at him as hard and as fast as you can.

  Well, there I was stuck in the doorway with Blondie like a marble statue in my arms. Ackie was right behind me, but he couldn’t do anything, not only because he was still pretty tight, but because I was in his way.

  I did the best thing I could do under the circumstances. I didn’t like doing it, but when it’s a question of stopping slugs or doing the right thing, I don’t think much about behaviour. I tossed Blondie across the room into Katz’s face.

  Just try tossing a big dame like Blondie across a room and see how you get on. I put everything I had into that heave and she went all right. She hit Katz where he kept his dinner, and he went over on the bed just like a shell had hit him.

  Blondie bounced off him on to the floor, where she lay on her side in a sitting position, looking like a waxwork figure who’d fallen off its chair.

  I dived across the room and landed on Katz. He tried to get his leg up to kick at me, but he was just too late. His rod had jerked out of his hand and had fallen on the floor somewhere. I thought Ackie would be bright enough to collect it.

  Katz got a grip round the barrel of my chest that surprised me. This guy looked a thin dope, but he’d got plenty of what it takes. Before I could grab him, he had tossed me away so that I came down hard on Blondie. I was too rattled to care much about that, and as I scrambled to my feet Katz swung his legs round and caught me in a scissor-grip round the neck. I knew all about those sort of tricks, and I had his shoe off and was giving his big toe the works before he could start to put on any pressure.